Why I’m Dating After My Grey Divorce
After cultivating time and heart into one marriage, it’s natural to feel that chances are slim after it ends.
Given that time and patience heal all things, you may find yourself curious and looking to get out and try again.
As you journey through socializing and dating this year, it can be hard to sift through a lifetime of habits and preconceived notions of what people are looking for these days. But fear not, all it takes is a little practice and determination.
Dating after divorce, especially after long-term marriage, is scary. Grey divorce has challenges that a younger divorce doesn’t have: potential step-family of adult children, body changes, and a lifetime of memories. But divorce recovery sometimes means jumping into a new life regardless of age.
I don’t want to do it, either. Dating after a long-term marriage (termed “grey divorce” – and I despise the term, too, but work with me on this) is enormously scary. Nonetheless, take a deep breath, don your parachute, and walk to edge of the abyss with me. We’ll hold hands and jump together. It’s time to date.
Here’s the number one reason I’m taking the blind leap of dating this month: The meter is ticking – and I had to be shaken to see it.
As usual, December had stirred up sentimental wistful memories. It was hard as it always is when grey divorce is involved. We have a lifetime of reminiscences and nostalgia to sift through.
But, in mid-December, an event burst into my life that rattled my heavyhearted cage. I was deeply shaken by the news of my best friend’s brother’s unexpected death. He was 69.
He was a robust guy – fun, brilliant (Harvard Ph.D.), and healthy. He’d recently fallen in love and they’d announced their plans for a New Years Eve wedding at the top of the ski lift at Heavenly at Lake Tahoe. Then, the ax fell. He fell ill with the big C. With his usual gusto, he opted for an aggressive experimental cancer treatment to save his life. Instead, he died.
The news shook me to my core. Not Jim. Couldn’t be.