Seven Tips You NEED to Trust Someone Again After Divorce

by | Jan 16, 2017

Forming new relationships may seem impossible if your previous relationship ended due to a breach of trust. There is no rush to get back in the dating swing, but there is always time to self-reflect on what values matter most to you.

If that means learning how to verbalize your boundaries or focusing on being more accountable for your actions, these are small steps toward learning how to place trust and rely on others in all your relationships.

Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes and be more cautious of any big signs.

One of the most frequent casualties of divorce is the ability to trust someone again in the same way you trusted your ex. It’s as if you’ve blocked off the most tender and precious part of yourself to avoid being hurt at that deep level ever again. You want to make sure you never ever leave yourself open to a repeat of that much pain.


And yet learning how to trust someone again is at the core of being able to live a full life after divorce.


That’s because true connection is critical to a fully lived and vibrant life. I’m not talking about the surface kind of connection where you keep your truest thoughts and emotions and even ugly cries to yourself. I’m talking about the kind of connection where you can be 100 percent unapologetically you with someone and they can be that way with you, too.


Learning how to trust someone again after suffering through divorce is challenging to say the least. But luckily some work that Brené Brown published in her book Daring Greatly provides a wonderful starting point for discussing and understanding what trust is between two people. She captures her seven points in the acronym BRAVING.


Boundaries – you and the other each have and respect boundaries

Reliability – you and the other both do what you say you will do when you say you will do it

Accountability – you each own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends

Vault – neither of you share what’s not yours to share

Integrity – both of you choose to do what’s right based on your values instead of what is fun, fast, or easy

Nonjudgment – both of you can express what’s important to you and ask for what you want without fear of judgment

Generosity – you’re both generous with interpreting the intentions, words and actions of the other

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