Moving on After Divorce Without Losing Your Kids
Whether you seek advice from a therapist or other helping professional, the reality of divorce is a constant reminder of the new stage in your life and all the adjustments that come with it.
If you’re a parent struggling to keep the relationship with you children a happy one, the most important step is to make sure your healing journey takes a precedent. Use this time to discover new and better ways to connect with your children that you may not have realized prior to the divorce.
Perhaps the best support you can give is your presence in their school activities or maybe it’s you taking time to teach a new hobby. There are many examples and ways to show your kids they matter and as long as this opportunity is still available to you, the long-term effects are worth every small step in between healing.
Divorce forces loss after loss after loss – loss of your marriage, loss of your home, loss of your life style, loss of your future together, and loss of your kids. Well, maybe you don’t really lose your kids, but it sure feels that way when you don’t get to see them every day.
When you’re used to being there for your kids and knowing everything that’s going on in their lives being without them is devastating. So, you do whatever you can to make the time you do have with them count more than ever. But when they’re with their other parent, you’re lost.
You know that it’s time to get on with your life, but the simple thought of moving on after divorce brings up fears of moving on from your kids and leaving them behind so their other parent can raise them. These terrifying thoughts are so crushing and abhorrent that you struggle to function.
So, you don’t move on. You continue to cling to your children and only really come alive when you’re with them.
The problem is that living only for your kids isn’t fair to your them. They notice that you’re not really living your life and they can tell that you’re becoming more and more insecure.
This is not the parent you want to be and it’s not the parent your children deserve.
You don’t have to choose between having a great life after divorce and being a great parent.