The Best Divorce Advice I Ever Received

by | Mar 20, 2017

When is the right time to fight or when is it time to tap out of the argument? It depends. By now you’ve decided to part ways but you’re finding yourself in a heated legal battle that just doesn’t seem to have a foreseeable ending.

Any good divorce professional should encourage you to try and reconcile amongst yourselves before coming to us, but we know that isn’t always the case.

Sometimes after assets are divided with us, the battle continues on. It’s in this moment that you must decide whether it’s worth it to continue or to rise above the fighting and learn when to let go of your need to control.

“Don’t fight. It’s not worth it.”


I looked around, wondering if I accidentally wandered into a therapist’s office.


“Martha, do you see these boxes here?” Don, my divorce lawyer, pointed to the pyramid of cardboard that reached the ceiling. “It’s a divorce case I’ve been working on for two years ― two years! Do you know how much money they’ve wasted on this? $75,000! It’s the biggest mess I’ve ever seen. Don’t do that. Whatever you do, don’t fight. People deserve better.”


I couldn’t believe it. Advice from well-meaning friends said to beware divorce attorneys, especially the “Gladiators,” who encouraged clients to fight. The longer the couple spent arguing, the richer the lawyers would become.


Perhaps Don was just venting his frustration. Or maybe he slept through that Gladiator Divorce Attorney course in law school. Whatever the reason, I am grateful for his advice. Not fighting during the divorce, in spite the rollercoaster of emotions, is beneficial for multiple reasons. It saves money, expedites healing, and empowers you during a time when you feel overwhelmed.

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