10 Steps to Healing After Your Divorce
Going through a divorce can be one of the most painful experiences you have. Regardless of the circumstances, the process of divorce brings out a lot of emotions for all parties involved. And those emotions can cause changes or disruptions in behavior, attitude, and the healing process afterwards, sometimes even resulting in irrational thoughts. Relationship coach Cathy Meyer says that the key to proper healing after a divorce is to focus on the future and remember the positive details of your situation. Read more below:
Divorcing someone you once loved or someone you still love can be devastating. It can feel like losing a limb. Divorce can mean losing your best friend. It can leave you confused about the past, present, and future. It can cause feelings of loneliness, desperation, depression, and self-loathing.
But what’s worse is that divorce can cause you to act a little crazy at times. You might behave in ways that are destructive or irrational. If you allow pain from your divorce to rule you, you could end up losing your job, your friends, or your self-respect.
It’s important to remember from the start that divorce isn’t a death sentence. Your life isn’t over, no matter how much you feel it is. You haven’t lost everything, even if you feel like you have. You are simply in a period of transition and as scary or difficult as that may seem, there will come a time when this divorce will an insignificant event in your past.
That is, of course, is if you don’t lose your head over it! For many people divorce isn’t just about losing someone they love or once loved, it can also be something quite complicated and daunting.
For instance, if you and your ex have a lot of shared possessions, a home together, or children, a divorce can entirely change the landscape of your life. If you are forced to see or speak to your ex because of shared obligations like co-parenting things can get difficult.
A complication like that can make it very hard to navigate your way through the healing process after your divorce.
Endings, like divorce, can be extremely difficult to cope with and unfortunately, we experience a lot them throughout our lives. Losing a job, experiencing a death in the family, saying farewell to a friend who’s moving away can cause serious emotional pain. Endings can feel like an emotional wrecking ball hitting you in the gut with each pendulum swing. It’s no wonder people can feel so entirely blindsided by the end of a relationship due to divorce.
Endings also come with new beginnings. To start over you need to let go of the past, the emotional pain and begin to focus on yourself and your future.